Day 15 - Wake Up!

"If what you did yesterday seems big, you haven't done anything today." -Lou Holtz

The quote above inspired me to write this post.

I just arrived from the retreat I attended entitled TOTAL! The Secret of Big Returns.  It was a three-day retreat organized by the Light of Jesus Community intended for the Lenten Season.  Today the topic focused on giving one's talent and treasure.  And all I can say is that the timing of this talk could not be more perfect.

For the past months, I felt that my dreams had been put to sleep.  For some reason, I felt that the fulfillment of my dreams resided on some distant unreachable star.  And for days I lived with a numb heart.  It has always been like this whenever routine would catch up on me.  And I would be left hoping for a breakthrough to create a change in the monotony.

I have always been a firm believer of pursuing one's dream and passion and I think that is the reason why whenever I would feel that I am losing that burning desire in my heart, I would really be bothered and greatly depressed.  One of the biggest dream that I have is for me to be able to realize my full potential.  Through that I know I would be able to serve my life's purpose, serve God and bless as much people as I can.  The Lord granted me with so many talents which I can use to prosper myself and others.  However, right now, I feel that I am not maximizing all these talents.  I could feel that I have a lot more to offer to the world.

In the talk I attended today, Bro. George Gabriel mentioned that there are two reasons why people say "no" to God or why some would opt to stay in their comfort zone and choose not to showcase their God-given talents.  First reason is that they feel they are ungifted.  I could very much relate on this one.  For most of the missed opportunities that I have, I would say that it could greatly be associated with my insecurity.  Growing up, I did not feel that I am gifted enough.  I would often compare myself to others and end up finding out how much they are better than me.  The second reason given was that people feel they are unworthy.  There were countless times that I felt unworthy of God's blessings.  As I already said before, it has not been always easy for me to forgive myself.

This Lent I want to change the habit of feeling ungifted and unworthy.  Deep inside me, I know I am meant for greater things.  The world is eagerly waiting to see what talents I can offer.  And God's love is enough to serve as a fuel to energize me to finally realize my potentials.  For God is my courage, strength and inspiration.

My dreams took a long unexpected sleep.  But as the Lord rose on Easter, my dreams shall again wake up. And through God's grace, it will come to completion.

PS The metal cross above was given to me by Sister Mel, a missionary of Singles for Christ, also on the day of the retreat.  I believe that it was a gift from God.  It is His way of telling me that He believes in me and in my dreams.  And whenever I would see this cross I would always be reminded of that.

Thank you, Lord.  I shall forever be thankful.

Day 4 – Saying YES to GOD

Today I am saying Yes.  I am saying Yes to God and to His plans for me.  I am entrusting everything to the Lord.  I am surrendering my life to Him.  For without Him, my plans are nothing, my desires are empty, my soul is lost.

I am certain that everything that is happening to me right now has perfectly good reasons.  And in time, in God’s time, all of these will be revealed.  God has planted dreams in my heart and I knew that God has likewise given me enough resources to fulfill it.  I am on the right track, as long as I follow God’s guiding light.

Choosing a part-time teaching career over a large-paying corporate profession has been a very difficult decision to make.  However, after too much pondering, I ended up letting my heart decide on what it truly desires.  Many have warned me that I won’t earn as big in the academe.  And it scared me.  I have always been used to the security of having a stable job.  But I heard God’s calling.  And with great joy in my heart, I fearlessly heed it.

God knew that I wanted to be wealthy.  And perhaps he knew too that I won’t grow as much if I will stay in the comforts of a high-earning job.  I will just be dependent in its false security and be less striving.

God calls me to come out of my comfort zone – to expand and grow my potentials to the maximum.  And I am saying YES.  God calls me to become more creative in terms of generating money machines – to be wiser in using his gifts and blessings.  And I am saying YES.  God calls me to serve with more passion – to be dedicated and focused in achieving the true desires of my heart.  And I am saying YES.

Today I am saying YES to GOD.  And today I am also saying YES to the fulfillment of my dreams.

Day 1 – Defining Wealth and Happiness

I was on page 31 of Bo Sanchez’ 8 Habits of a Happy Millionaire when I finally decided to declare how much I wanted to earn after a certain date.  I wrote, without hesitations, “P2 Million” and “December 31, 2012”.  And it read:

“I will earn P2 Million by December 31, 2012.”

And just like that, I felt committed in achieving this goal.  As I continue reading the book, I began to understand that I need to define my emotional hunger, my emotional why – the need to be wealthy.

I pondered over all the reasons I have.  Why do I need this wealth?  Why do I need to be wealthy?  Why do I need to get rich?

I thought of all the beautiful things that I could do once I have this immense amount of wealth and the list in my head seemed endless – local travels, international travels, photography class, driving lessons, cooking class, luxurious cars, huge mansions, investments, constant date with my mother and my father, helping out the poor, establishing charity organizations, etc.  Afterwards, I felt ashamed of myself.  I realized that my desires are all very selfish.  Prior to wanting to give and share, I immediately thought of the material wants that seemed unreachable at the moment.

I quickly searched through my soul for the deepest desires of my heart –the things that will truly make me happy.  I knew that a lot of the things I thought as my emotional hunger were self-serving.  They will make me happy.  But the kind of happiness these things will bring is not the kind that forever lasts.  When I thought of the one thing that gives me true happiness even when I was a child, I just thought of one thing: relationships.

Right then and there, I categorized in my mind all the stuffs in my head and properly classified each according to priority.  And I was able to narrow down my list of why I need to become rich into three:

·         I wanted to develop and grow my relationship with my Family

·         I wanted to enjoy my relationship with my Friends and Others

·         I wanted to reward Myself for fulfilling my dreams

I felt happier after being able to define what gives me true happiness.  And being wealthy will help me achieve these things.

I passed my resignation as Finance Manager today.  If things go out as planned, it will be effective June 27, 2011.

I received a text from our director a while ago telling me to reconsider the decision I made and ponder over the advice she gave me two days ago.  The truth is, I still am not 100% sure of what my life would become after I resign.  I do not even know if I will survive without a stable job.  But right now, I’m staying positive.  I know God is with me all the time.  So I don’t have anything to worry.

I am filled with great hope and optimism.  I am looking forward to a life outside the comfort zone.  I know I will face greater challenges ahead.  But I will not fear.  For God is always here.